Young teenagers between the ages of 12 and 14 are literally transforming before their parents’ eyes. As puberty hits, hormonal changes occur, impacting mood and physical development. Some parents may feel like it’s impossible to understand their young teen during this time of rapid growth.
One minute, they’re showing an interest in hobbies and friends they used to love. The next, they’re glued to social media and hyper-concerned about their image, looks, and clothes. However, if parents take the time to recognize the teenage developmental milestones for this age group, they may find they have more compassion and empathy toward their child and what they’re going through.
Let’s take a closer look at the social, emotional, cognitive and behavioral changes your 12- to 14-year-old is experiencing so you know how to best support them.
What Developmental Stage Is a 12-Year-Old?
It might be surprising to learn that a 12-year-old is considered a young teenager. Even though they aren’t in high school yet, they’re beginning to transition from childhood to adulthood. They’re exploring who they are, what their life’s purpose is, and how to draw meaning from different experiences. This is a period of identity development, which includes building a strong sense of self and determining personal beliefs and values.
According to Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, the developmental goal of this stage focuses on “identity vs. role confusion.” Role confusion occurs when teens aren’t able to explore their identity and become unsure of where they fit in and possibly feel confused or disappointed about their role in life. While role confusion is common in the teen years, some adolescents may have more disruptive or intense role confusion due to poor self-esteem, low self-worth, and lack of ego strength.
To encourage healthy identity development in mid-adolescence, parents of young adolescents need to strike a balance between boundaries and freedom. Teenagers should be given the freedom to explore and develop personal values. But they also thrive when their family system has clear limits and boundaries. Teens need structure. They’ll try to test boundaries, but that doesn’t mean the boundaries shouldn’t be in place. You as the parent will help them navigate what behaviors are acceptable or appropriate. You’ll teach them accountability when they make mistakes. While teens’ friends will often be the first place they go for an important conversation, it’s still vital that parents show up ready to listen and coach them through tough moments of growth and learning.
Physical Developmental Milestones in Young Adolescence
In young adolescence, 12- to 14-year-olds are in the young teenager stage of development. At this age and developmental stage, young teenagers’ bodies undergo a lot of changes, including menstruation, painful growth spurts, and an increase in body hair. All of these physical developments and hormonal changes can bring on unwanted attention or uncomfortable situations that can impact young teens’ mental health. These emotional and physical changes might embarrass or startle young teens, especially because their desire to fit in with peers is increasing.
Because young teenagers are developing psychologically, emotionally, and physically, struggling with body image can be part of this stage of development. Many young teens develop eating disorders around this time. Therefore, talking about sensitive subjects such as maintaining a healthy weight helps support your child’s mental health as they reach each teenage milestone.
What Is Social Development in Puberty Like?
It’s no secret that teenagers tend to prefer the company of their friends over family. For young teenagers in mid-adolescence, their peer group is becoming increasingly important to them as they attempt to differentiate from the family unit and cultivate an individual identity. Young teenagers are forming a social identity among their peers and within friend groups. They’re swapping goals, ambitions, secrets or fears. And they may also be exposed to drinking, drugs, smoking, and sex, which can cause rifts at home and can be difficult for parents and teens alike. Many young teenagers succumb to peer pressure as they’re learning how to make choices independent from family influence, which can be concerning for parents.
Teens can form positive and supportive friendships by being physically active in dance classes or team sports, joining student clubs, holding after-school jobs, or doing other extracurricular activities. In addition to these peer relationships, they may also form healthy mentor relationships with trusted adults outside of the family.
Young teenagers may begin to take on more complex social roles, too. Their emotional and cognitive development makes them more adept at cooperation and self-expression. They may explore what it’s like to take on a leadership role at a place of worship, on a team, or in school. Or they may explore their first romantic relationships.
Cognitive Developmental Milestones for 12- to 14-Year-Olds
In addition to physical and social development, early teenage developmental milestones include new ways of thinking and analyzing information. Formal logical operations, a more complex approach to thinking, arises at this age. This means your young adolescent will engage in abstract thinking, consider various points of view, form their own ideas and questions, and develop an awareness of their own thought processes.
During this stage, it’s common for teens to go through phases where they’re obsessed with something, like TikTok, or a new album by their favorite musical artist. That’s part of the process of figuring out what they like and identify with. However, an innocent obsession can turn to a behavioral addiction if it’s not properly monitored. Behavioral addictions give psychological rewards by releasing dopamine and other “feel good” hormones. Social media addiction and gaming disorder are two of the most common behavioral addictions for this age group.
Young Adolescents and Social Media Challenges
Early adolescence is often the stage when young teens start using social media more often, to support their growing interest in peer relationships. Social platforms, messaging, and video chatting apps offer opportunities for self-expression and allow young people to stay connected. Your teen might find community online, even with people they’ve never met in person. (However, social media can’t substitute for real-life friendships.)
On the other hand, the internet can be an unsafe place, especially for young teens. Roughly 40 percent of adolescents aged 12 to 17 have been bullied online. Research shows that girls are more likely to perpetrate and be victims of cyberbullying than boys. And while teens insist on being connected to their friends 24/7, overuse of social media has been linked to teen depression and lower life satisfaction.
When technology is used too often, it can become addictive and have an adverse effect on your teen’s mental health, self-esteem, or brain development. Consequences can include difficulty functioning in day-to-day life, relationship challenges, poor mental health, and physical complaints. In these cases, intervention may be necessary.
Behavioral Developmental Milestones for Children Ages 12–14
As noted above, teen behaviors during this stage of young adolescence include more time spent with peers, exploring independent interests as part of identity development, and potentially pulling away from parents as they build independence.
In addition, early teenage developmental milestones include the notorious adolescent egocentrism, which is a tendency for teens to be hyper-focused on themselves. Some examples of egocentrism are:
- Preoccupation with appearance
- Thinking that others are hyper-focused on them
- Believing that they are invincible
This exaggerated self-awareness can leave young people paralyzed with self-consciousness. They’re convinced that everyone is looking at them. They think other people notice their every move. This egocentrism can also manifest as inflated self-esteem. This is why your teen might spend a lot of time preening or engage in risky or attention-seeking behaviors. On the other end of the spectrum is extreme self-consciousness and a desire to conform so they don’t stand out.
Signs of Mental Health Issues in Young Teens
Teenagers tend to have a bad reputation for being hormonal, moody, and short-tempered. But what if they’re struggling with something bigger? What if it’s depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, or another mental health disorder they’re grappling with?
If you notice changes in your child’s sleep patterns, energy levels, appetite, or motivation, have a conversation with them to see if anything is wrong. You can do some of your own research about common mental health problems in teens, but don’t be afraid to seek professional help.
Red Flag Behaviors to Watch for in Early Adolescence
- Sleeping more than usual
- Sudden changes in performance at school
- Drastic changes in eating habits
- Losing interest in activities and hobbies they used to enjoy
- Isolating and not socializing
- Personality changes
- Body image obsession
- Low self-esteem
How to Support Your 12- to 14-Year-Old
First and foremost, cultivate an environment of safety and open communication so your teen feels comfortable talking to you. Non-judgmental conversations and compassion can go a long way. Talking about sensitive topics like romance and sex with your young teen may feel uncomfortable at first. But it can be very helpful to your young teenager as they go through puberty.
Teach your child to be self-compassionate, encourage their self-expression through healthy outlets like art or music, and share quality time together regularly. In addition, mental health check-ins can help you stay connected with what’s happening in your teenager’s life. If you know how your teen is doing emotionally, you’ll be more likely to spot any mental health concerns and get help as needed.
Treatment for Mental Health Issues in Mid-Adolescence
For parents of young teenagers, you don’t have to do this alone. Therapy is a great option to support your child’s mental health. At Newport Academy, we support young people ages 12–18 to build healthy emotional regulation, form a strong sense of self, and make positive connections with peers and mentors.
If you need help finding age-appropriate resources in your area, contact us. We’re here to help you and your child manage development as a young teenager and the mental health challenges that accompany this stage of adolescence.
Key Takeaways
- 12-year-olds actually are starting to become teenagers and this is usually when puberty hits.
- Teenagers age 12–14 might be exposed to alcohol, drugs, and sex. It’s important for parents to set boundaries and talk to their teens, even when it feels uncomfortable.
- Cognitive developmental milestones in mid-adolescence include developing more complex ways of thinking. Teens form their own opinions, ideas, and questions, and have a greater awareness of their own thought processes.
- Teenagers in early adolescence become more aware of their bodies. Body image issues can arise and develop into eating disorders if not monitored properly.
- Social development in young adolescence can look like expanding social circles and spending more time with friends than with family.
Frequently Asked Questions About Young Teenage Developmental Milestones
12-year-olds are considered young teenagers. They fall under the developmental category of early adolescence. Although 12-year-olds are on the younger side of the teenager spectrum, they are starting to come into their own and developing physically, behaviorally, emotionally, and cognitively.
Young teenagers in the early adolescence developmental stage are going through puberty and experiencing changes both physically and emotionally. Puberty is a time when young teens explore relationships, both platonic and romantic, as well as sexual orientation and gender identity.
Teenagers in early adolescence are usually expanding their social circles. They are taking on more responsibilities, perhaps joining group activities such as team sports and clubs. It’s typical for tweens to be self-conscious about their changing bodies. Therefore, it’s important for parents to watch out for signs of eating disorders or depression.