The Importance of Teen Friendships

Friendships are incredibly important during adolescence. Teen friendships help young people feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. They support the development of compassion, caring, and empathy.

Moreover, teen friendships are an important part of forming a sense of identity outside the family. And these adolescent friendships can be incredibly supportive in helping teens to weather difficult times.

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Key Takeaways

• Teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being into adulthood.
• Social media can help friends stay connected, but it can also have negative consequences on teen friendships.
• Parents can talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend.
• Group therapy can help teens struggling with friendships realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside.

The Friendship-Happiness Link

We all know that spending time with good friends makes us happier. But scientists have put this feeling to the test, and the evidence shows that teen friendships are linked with psychological well-being.

One study using data from more than 111,000 adolescents found that teenagers who were integrated into friendship networks had better mental health, as measured by a number of depressive symptoms. The findings made it clear that teens with more friends had fewer symptoms of depression and felt a stronger sense of belonging.

In addition, the benefits of adolescent friendships include:

• Higher-functioning immune system
• Better self-esteem
• Lower rates of anxiety
• Happier, more optimistic outlook
• Longer life expectancy
• Stronger emotional regulation skills
• Improved cognitive function
• More empathy and feelings of trust toward others.

Teen Friendships Help Adolescents Cope with Stress

Peer friendships during the teen years can also help young people navigate difficult situations. A 2021 study found that adolescents who had strong teen friendships prior to the pandemic were less likely to internalize the stress of isolation and social distancing. These connections helped reduce teen loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

Friendships also help teens deal with everyday stressors. A study of 108 high school students in Australia found that strong friendships were particularly helpful for teens immediately after a stressful event, such as failing a test.

Researchers from Australia’s Murdoch and Griffith universities surveyed teens and they found that they coped better after a stressful event when they were with peers rather than adults. Teens who were with friends reported lower levels of sadness, jealousy, and worry.

Teens Are Wired to Make Friends

As children enter adolescence and start high school, teen friendships become increasingly important. In fact, parents sometimes feel ignored or abandoned by their children in favor of friendships.

But this developmental stage is completely natural, according to Daniel J. Siegel, a clinical professor of psychology and co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center. Dr. Siegel believes that teenagers’ desire for friendship is biologically hardwired.

“Why would it be natural to turn toward your peers as an adolescent? Because that’s on whom you’re going to depend on when you leave home. Often, in the wild, a mammal without an adolescent peer group is as good as dead. So connecting with a peer group can feel like a matter of survival.”

—Daniel J. Siegel, MD

In fact, the importance of friends in teenage life is so significant that going without it hurts—literally. Brain imaging suggests that the same parts of the brain are activated by social rejection as by physical pain. Thus, kids being left out feel the rejection deeply. Hence, “I feel left out” is one of the worst things a parent can hear.

Read “Teenage Isolation and How Parents Can Help.”

Teen Friendships Predict Adult Mental Health

Teenagers who have close friendships in adolescence have better mental health as young adults. Research published in the journal Child Development compared teens with close friendships to popular teens with a larger friend group but less intense friendships.

Each year, the participants were given questionnaires to assess their levels of anxiety, depression, and self-worth. Consequently, researchers found that people who had close friends as teens reported higher levels of self-worth and lower levels of social anxiety and depression at age 25, compared with their popular peers.

Therefore, the study validated what parents often tell teens: Popularity isn’t important. The most beneficial teen relationships are deep, close friendships in which teens feel seen for who they truly are.

“As technology makes it increasingly easy to build a social network of superficial friends, focusing time and attention on cultivating close connections with a few individuals should be a priority.”

—Joseph Allen, psychology professor at the University of Virginia and co-author of the study

The Influence of Peer Pressure on Teen Behavior

Parents have always understood that peer pressure can encourage teens to make poor choices. And those choices often relate to risky behavior such as drug use, unsafe sexual behavior, and unsafe driving.

Now scientists have concrete proof of the negative effect of peer pressure. Research using brain-imaging technology shows that teens experiencing peer pressure are more likely to make risky decisions. Moreover, that’s true even when the peer is anonymous and not physically present.

But a survey of approximately 1,500 adolescents and their families had different results. This research showed that the vast majority of young teens are not pressured by their friends to drink, smoke, use illegal drugs, or engage in other risky behaviors. In fact, the study found that friends are much more likely to support each other’s efforts to do well, rather than pressuring each other to take risks or make poor choices.

Talking to Teens About Friendships

Parents can’t choose their teenagers’ friends or control their friendships. But they can and should talk to their teens about what adolescent friendship should feel like and help them understand how to be a good friend. Here are some of the most important things teens should know about friendship.

Authentic Connection

The best teen friendships allow teenagers to speak honestly and openly about how they are feeling. Moreover, they can do so without fear of being judged or insulted. This kind of authentic connection will support them during adolescence and beyond.

The Power of Listening

Friendships depend on listening as well as sharing. Strong teen friendships depend on listening closely and responding with compassion, encouragement, and positive feedback.

Peer Pressure

When teens understand the power of peer pressure, they can make clearer decisions. Parents can help them recognize how friends influence each other, in both positive and negative ways.

It Takes Time

As the above study showed, it takes time to make a good friend. Sometimes it’s easier for teens to make friends in situations outside of school where they share similar interests—at camp, on sports teams, or in extracurricular activities.

Friendships Change

Not all teen friendships last forever. People change as they mature, and therefore they may grow apart. Parents can encourage teens to think about the qualities that are important to them in a relationship. Friendships are more likely to last when teens have similar values and priorities, and want the same things out of the relationship.

Conflict Is Natural

It’s normal for teens to have fights and disagreements. But that doesn’t mean the friendship has to end. Teen friendships help adolescents learn how to navigate conflict and how to recognize what they could do differently. Moreover, they learn how important it is to say “I’m sorry” and also how important it is to forgive the other person.

In conclusion, teen friendships matter—a lot. They’re a huge part of growing into adulthood. But despite the importance of friends in teenage life, the significance of teens’ relationships with their parents can never be underestimated.

How Teen Treatment Addresses Isolation and Loneliness

Feelings of loneliness and not being understood can contribute to teen anxiety and depression. Hence, teen treatment at Newport Academy helps teens build a safe and supportive community in which they can be honest with each other and make authentic connections. As a result, they recognize that others feel the same emotions, insecurities, fears, and anxieties, and that they are not alone.

“Treatment is often the first time teens realize that other kids who look fine on the outside feel the same way they do on the inside,” says Dr. Barbara Nosal, PhD, LMFT, LADC, Chief Clinical Officer at Newport Academy. “It’s an enormous relief to find other people with similar family issues, struggles, and challenges.”’

Contact us today to learn more about our industry-leading teen treatment for mental health and co-occurring disorders.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources

J Res Adolesc. 2021 Sep; 31(3): 692–702.
Child Dev. 2017 Aug.
Int J Behavior Dev. 2016 Feb.
Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2011 Apr; 108(15): 6270–5.