Bright lights and decorations. Family gatherings. Celebratory meals. Festive parties. Gift-giving. Free time. The holiday season can be magical. For many people, though, including teens, the holidays can be just the opposite—a stressful time that sparks or exacerbates feelings of anxiety, sadness, loneliness, and depression.
Covering the house with pumpkins, stringing more holidays lights all over the lawn, and buying more gifts won’t ultimately support adolescents during the holiday season. What they need most from parents is understanding and support, including teen holiday stress-management skills to help reduce stress during this time of year.
Key Takeaways
- Teens, like adults, can find the holidays more stressful than relaxing.
- Family dramas and discomfort with extended family can make the holidays stressful for teenagers.
- To reduce teen holiday stress, parents can acknowledge what their kids are experiencing and give them both space and support.
- Enrolling a teen with mental health issues into treatment during the holidays can be a transformative experience for the child and the whole family.
Why the Holidays Can Be Hard for Teens
In an American Psychological Association survey, 38 percent of people said their stress increases during the holidays. And in a poll conducted on behalf of the American Psychiatric Association, Americans were five times more likely to say their stress increases during the holidays vs. decreases.
Teenagers don’t necessarily face the same issues as adults do at this time of year, but they aren’t immune to holiday stress. And that’s particularly true for those who suffer from or are at risk for mental health conditions. Teenage stress occurs around this time of year for multiple reasons, which is why holiday stress-management skills are essential.
Extended Time with Extended Family
The holidays bring family together from far and wide, and that can create stressful situations. Teens who struggle with anxiety may have difficulty relaxing around people they aren’t used to connecting with regularly. Even if they don’t wrestle with anxiety, having to field questions about how they’re doing in school, their goals for the future, and their romantic relationships can be taxing.
Family Drama
Most families spend more time together during the holidays. Increased togetherness, more people in the mix—and the pressure to be joyful—can cause the holidays to feel more like work than a vacation. And if family dynamics are challenging, too much stress is almost inevitable. Strained marital relationships can be more strained at holiday time. Certain relatives may not get along. And for teens who split their time between households because their parents have divorced, the stress can be even greater.
Changes in Routine
The winter break may seem like a welcome respite from responsibility for teens. But for some teens, including those with mental health conditions, changes in routine can induce stress rather than providing stress relief. During the holidays, teens’ regular schedule of classes, activities, mealtimes, and bedtime is upset. Overscheduling holiday events and parties can also make it difficult for teens to maintain a balanced routine and get enough sleep.
Difficult Relationship with Food and Eating
For teenagers with eating disorders or a difficult relationship with food and/or body image, the holidays can be especially stressful. A recent study showed that 22 percent of children and adolescents struggle with disordered eating behaviors. For these teens, being around large amounts of holiday food can become a high-anxiety event. The pressure to eat more than usual, combined with fielding comments about their weight or eating habits, can cause teens with eating-related issues to feel especially on edge.
Triggers Around Substance Use
The overindulgence that is synonymous with the holidays is not just related to food. Holiday celebrations can lead to excessive drinking for people of any age who struggle with substance use issues. Teens with a history of substance use disorder may experience cravings and the risk of relapse when faced with holiday-related stressors and increased availability of alcohol. Moreover, if their family support system is distracted and preoccupied by hosting or other holiday events, it’s easier for teens to sneak away to use alcohol or other substances to manage stress.
Grief
When teens are grieving the loss of a loved one (or perhaps grieving their parents’ divorce), the holidays can be triggering. Not having their loved one with them can bring on memories of all the holidays they shared together, intensifying the feelings of loss. And if they’ve experienced traumatic grief, which occurs in the wake of sudden and unexpected loss, the holidays can be especially painful—a powerful reminder of their loved one’s absence.
How Parents Can Support Teen Holiday Stress Management
Parents need to understand that the holidays may be more triggering than merry for their teen. If you’re concerned your child might be struggling with holiday stress, there are things you can do. Here are some ways to help teens manage their stress and avoid unhealthy coping strategies.
Talk About Triggers Before Gatherings
At the holidays especially, keep the lines of communication open. As celebrations and events approach, talk to your teen about potential stressors. Then make a game plan. Help them brainstorm ways to cope with challenging emotions. Ask how you can be helpful. Should you be considering whether to allow your child to have a holiday drink, though, don’t. Research has shown that adolescents whose early exposure to alcohol comes from home have higher odds of binge drinking, alcohol-related harm, and the symptoms of alcohol use disorder.
Allow Breaks for Alone Time if They Need It
Just like you might need a break from the family hoopla during the holidays, your teen might, too. So your teen doesn’t disappear from a festive gathering without warning, come up with a code word they can use to let you know they need a breather. When you hear the code word, respect it. Allow your teen some time to decompress in another room or outside. If you support their need for space as part of teen stress management, they’ll be more apt to return to family gatherings refreshed and able to engage.
Empower Them to Create Healthy Boundaries
It’s important for parents to assist teens in setting healthy boundaries. There may be gatherings or parties they’d rather not attend. Teach them to be realistic when committing to social events. Remind them it’s okay to say, “No, thanks” if they feel overextended. As well, there may be relatives they can only take in small doses. In that case, help them come up with some polite phrases that allow them to slip out of extended conversations that leave them feeling stressed and agitated.
Support Them in Using Stress-Management Strategies
Teens will benefit from keeping up healthy habits to reduce stress. For example, physical activity is well-known to decrease stress and boost feel-good endorphins. Encourage your teen to take a brisk walk, hit the gym, or do some yoga and meditation to help the mind and body relax. When you practice mindfulness techniques and breathe deeply, the stress response (also known as the fight-or-flight response) recedes and the relaxation response activates. In addition, make sure your teen gets enough sleep and has time to connect with good friends, both of which will keep them calmer and more grounded.
Spend Positive Time Together
Some families create long to-do lists preparing for during the holidays, which tends to amplify stress. In order to shift into a more relaxed gear, do things as a family that are fun, meaningful, or both to bring about positive emotions. Set aside time to go ice-skating together, play charades, or watch a feel-good holiday movie. Alternatively, try volunteering at an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, or food pantry. Research shows that volunteering offers mental and physical health benefits. When your teen can focus on helping others, their own concerns take a back seat, lowering the stress response and enhancing well-being. When you engage in feel-good activities as a family, your teen will feel the positive impact even more.
Help Them Tap into the Power of Gratitude
The attitude of gratitude may not come naturally to your teen at first. But helping them look for, identify, and express the good in their lives may be more effective to relieve stress than you’d think. Research suggests that practicing gratitude is associated with greater happiness, fulfillment, and well-being. Have everyone in the family express gratitude at mealtime for one thing within the last week. Or ask your teen to make a list of three things they’re looking forward to each morning, and three things they appreciated about the day each evening. The practice of focusing on the good will help your teen see the good more and more.
Maintain Structure
For some teens, the lack of structure during the holiday season is a stressor in itself. Helping your teen follow a schedule can be an extremely helpful aspect of stress management. As much as possible, try to coax your teen to stay on the same sleeping and eating schedule. Beyond that, help them create a holiday plan that includes time for hobbies, exercise, friends, and household chores. Limiting screen time will also help teens manage their stress.
Decrease Your Own Stress
You can’t give what you don’t have. If you want your teen to feel more relaxed at holiday time, you have to manage stress responsibly, too. Don’t underestimate the extent to which you can intensify your teen’s stress by becoming irritable in your attempt to make the holidays picture-perfect. If you’re overtaxed, your teen will sense it. Make time for self-care and find healthy ways to reduce your own stress at holiday time so you can support your teen from a more balanced place.
Should My Teen Start Treatment During the Holidays?
Since you’re spending more time with your teen than usual, it’s a good opportunity to gauge their mood and overall well-being. Are they acting like themselves? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), approximately 64 percent of people with a diagnosed mental health condition find that the holidays make their symptoms worse.
Enrolling your teen in mental health treatment during the holidays can be a transformative experience for them and for the whole family. Greater family harmony, fortified relationships, and more respect and compassion between parents and children are a few of the many benefits of treatment.
Warning Signs of a Teen Mental Health Disorder
It can be tricky to tell the difference between typical teen behavior and the red flags that may point to a mental health disorder. If you notice any of mental health warning signs above in your teen, take note. They might benefit from getting into treatment sooner than later.
Some of the signs that your teen is struggling with mental health problems include:
- Trouble sleeping
- Changes in eating habits
- Major changes in appearance or hygiene
- Self-isolation and withdrawal
- Significant changes in mood, especially greater anxiety, irritability, or anger
- Loss of interest in activities they typically enjoy
- Self-medicating with drugs and alcohol
If you notice even one of these signs and your teen has not been diagnosed with or treated for a mental health condition, a check-in with a provider is the next step. Newport Academy provides teen mental health assessments at no charge, in person at one of our nationwide locations or virtually.
Newport Academy’s Teen Mental Health Treatment
At Newport Academy, we help teens with mental health issues understand and move through their feelings by honoring them as valid and important. Compassion and love are two of our core values. No matter what mental health condition your teen is suffering from, our team of experienced professionals can help them reduce stress, reframe negative thoughts, build resilience, and enhance self-esteem.
We realize that some families need to access teen mental health treatment as quickly as possible, even during the holidays. Fortunately, the Newport team is available 24/7 to assist families in finding the right level of care tailored to their teen’s specific needs, optimizing insurance coverage, and streamlining the enrollment process. Contact us today to learn more about our clinical model and help your teen get started on the path toward healing.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Sources
JAMA Pediatric. 2023 Feb; 177(4): 363–372.
Greater Good Science Center, The Science of Gratitude Report, 2018 May.
The Lancet. 2018 Jan. 17: 2468–2667.
BMC Public Health. 2017 Jul; 18(1): 8.