Are Teen Curfews Good for Mental Health?

Setting a curfew for teens is something most parents are faced with. However, it’s easier said than done. Curfews can be divisive. Parents set them in place to keep adolescents safer and healthier, but they can make teens angry and resentful.

Are teen curfews a good idea? How should you handle a teen staying out all night? And how can you put a reasonable curfew into place? Here’s what you need to know about curfews for teens.

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Key Takeaways

• Curfews should be set in place to keep teens safe and healthy rather than controlling them.
• Reasonable teen curfews can improve teens’ sleep and mental health, and help them establish a balanced schedule.
• If your teen stays out all night, wait until the morning to ask questions and get details.
• As your teen ages and shows more responsibility, consider making the curfew more flexible.

What Is a Digital Curfew?

A digital curfew is a limit on phones, screens, and other digital technology. Unplugging from digital products can help improve sleep and circadian rhythms, particularly if your teen struggles with sleep deprivation or is unable to get out of bed in the morning.

If you want your adolescent to get on board with a digital curfew, it’s best for the whole family to abide by it. If your teen is supposed to put their phone away but sees you scrolling, they’re less likely to abide by a no-screens rule. A digital curfew can include limits during certain times of day, like at family mealtimes. It also typically includes turning off your phone at a certain time of night, usually an hour or more before bedtime, and charging it in another room.

What to Do When a Teen Stays Out All Night: 5 Steps to Take

When your teen comes in late at night or early in the morning, your first impulse might be to yell at them, ground them, and punish them. This is a natural reaction—you’re angry, and they’ve violated your trust and boundaries. However, getting reactive can backfire. Here are five steps to take instead.

1. Make sure they’re okay.

When your teen comes through the door after staying out all night, first make sure they’re physically and emotionally okay. Observe any signs of drinking or drug use, such as slurred speech, stumbling, or glassy eyes. Once you determine they’re all right, tell them you want to talk about what happened later, and that there may be consequences for their behaviors. However, avoid asking them questions or imposing punishment at this time. Instead, wait until morning to talk, when you’re less angry or frightened and they’re more rested.

2. Get details.

The next day, find a time to sit down with your teen and get details about what happened. Healthy communication starts with listening. Listen to what they’re saying without immediately judging or arguing with them. You can ask questions, such as why they didn’t stay in touch with you. You can also explain why you’re upset. But be careful not to berate or belittle them.

3. Agree on consequences.

Create an agreement about how to handle curfew on weeknights and weekends, including consequences for violating curfew. Make it clear to them what these consequences are and how long they’ll last. If this is the first time your teen has violated curfew, a warning might do. If they’re a repeat offender, you may choose to do something like take away their phone service for a certain amount of time.

4. Connect with their friends.

For most teens, friendships and romantic connection take precedence over just about anything else. Teenagers are hardwired to connect with their peers at this age. If you want to understand why a teen is staying out all night and who they’re with, get to know their friends or romantic partners. Invite them over for dinner, or ask them to come over before your teen goes out at night with them.

5. Address mental health or substance use issues.

A teen staying out all night might be “normal” teen behavior, or it could be a sign of a mental health condition. Underlying mental health or substance use issues can exacerbate teen defiance and risky behaviors. If you suspect your teen may be using dangerous substances or is struggling with their mental health, seek help from a mental health professional.

How to Set a Teen Curfew

Think of a curfew as a set of rules coupled with a clear set of consequences for breaking those rules. There’s no one right or wrong way to set a curfew for your teen, because all families and teens have different needs and considerations. You can establish your own set of rules and adjust them as needed. However, it’s a good idea to keep your kid in the conversation when things change, and to have a good reason for changing something.

The first thing to do is set an agreed-upon time of return to the home. This is the curfew itself. As a general rule, younger teens should have earlier curfews, and older teens can have later curfews and more responsibility. Consider expanding the freedoms of a curfew as your teen ages and shows more responsibility. For example, it may make sense to let a senior in high school negotiate a more flexible curfew for themselves at times. They’re older and need to learn to set their own schedule if they’re heading off to college or planning on living on their own soon. However, this strategy likely won’t work as a curfew for 13-year-olds, because they need more external structure and regulation.

Second, impress on your teen the importance of communicating with you when they’re out. Make sure they know to tell you where they’re going, how they’re getting there, who they’re with, and what they’ll be doing. Make it clear that if plans change, they’re to give you all the details for the new plan. And set the expectation that if you need to reach them while they’re out (for an emergency or other good reason, not just to check on them arbitrarily), they’ll agree to answer your calls or texts.

The third part of setting a curfew is establishing consequences for what happens if it’s broken. Involve your teen in this decision-making process if possible. If they know and agree to the consequences to breaking curfew, they may be more likely to stay accountable.

Teen Treatment for Mental Health and Substance Use at Newport Academy

If your teen is exhibiting defiant or risky behavior, or they’re showing symptoms of mental health problems, teen treatment at Newport Academy can help. Our medical and clinical teams guide teens to learn strategies for managing emotions, overcome substance abuse, and heal underlying causes of trauma, depression, anxiety, defiance, and other mental health issues.

Our comprehensive approach is tailored to each individual teen and their family. Every teen’s customized schedule includes the following:

• Psychiatric care with our MDs, including medication recommendations and management
• Individual therapy, using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and other trauma-informed modalities
• Group therapy to work through challenges with peers who understand what they’re going through
• Attachment-Based Family Therapy to strengthen parent-child bonds and inspire trust
• Experiential therapies, including music, yoga, meditation, adventure, equine-assisted, and culinary therapy, depending on location
• Academic support, including individual tutoring, instruction, and educational testing

Start the healing journey today: Contact us for a free teen health assessment.

Frequently Asked Questions

Source

J Affective Disord Reports. 2022 Dec; 10: 100420.