An LGBTQ-affirming space is an environment in which an LGBTQ+ child or teen feels they can truly be who they are, without fear of discrimination or prejudice. This affirming space can be a place, an individual, or a family. What matters is that it provides safety, support, and acceptance.
Why are LGBTQ+-affirming spaces so important? Because they have a powerful impact on young people’s mental health and well-being. In fact, having a home, workplace, or school that is affirming reduces suicide risk for LGBTQ+ young people, according to Trevor Project research.
Key Takeaways
- An LGBTQ+-affirming space is an environment or family in which an LGBTQ+ child or teen feels safe, supported, and able to be who they truly are.
- Offering unconditional love, empathy, and active listening are vital components of creating a safe space for an LGBTQ+ child or adolescent.
- Having an affirming space is proven to reduce suicide risk in LGBTQ+ teens, according to research by The Trevor Project.
- Because of the stigma and prejudice they often face, LGBTQ+ adolescents are vulnerable to mental health conditions, so parents should watch for signs and provide access to professional support when needed.
6 Steps for Creating an LGBTQ+-Affirming Space
Below are some ways parents can help their LGBTQ+ children feel seen, heard, and supported by creating an affirming space.
1. Love them unconditionally.
First and foremost, the best way for parents to support their LGBTQ+ teen or young adult child is to show them, through both words and actions, that you love and accept them, and you will always be there for them no matter what, even if you may be struggling to understand what this new information all means.
Remember to celebrate their strengths, appreciate their uniqueness and self-expression, and let them know you will be walking beside them on their path even if it is hard for you at times.
2. Listen with empathy.
Working to understand and support your child’s journey in exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation doesn’t mean not talking about it with them.
In fact, a study by the Family Acceptance Project found that talking with youth respectfully about their LGBTQ+ identity, and openly and respectfully discussing LGBTQ+ issues with them, was associated with more than 40 percent lower odds of attempting suicide among cisgender LGBQ+ youth.
Ask your kids about their experience, listen actively with empathy, and validate how they feel. It’s okay to let them know that there are areas where you might not have all the answers, but you are willing to learn alongside them.
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3. Welcome their friends and community.
Navigating your teen or young adult child’s friendships and romantic relationships as a parent can be tricky, regardless of their gender identity and sexual orientation. But it’s important to work toward letting go of judgment or negativity, even if their new romantic interest or friend group isn’t what you imagined for them.
That said, there are issues which transcend sexuality or gender identity that are important for all parents to offer support on. So, don’t hesitate to speak up if you feel your child isn’t being treated respectfully or is in a toxic friendship or abusive relationship, regardless of who that person is.
A Parent’s Guide to Supporting Your
Child’s Gender Identify & Sexual Orientation
Download your guide to learn:
- How to support and empower your child by creating an affirming space
- What it means to be and how to become an ally to your child
- Resources to connect you with a larger community of parents for ongoing support
4. Become an ally.
One of the most powerful ways you can support your child is to become an ally. What does it mean to be an ally? It doesn’t mean you need to go to the Pride Parade every year or have a Pride flag on your lawn. It can be simply recognizing when harm may be being done to LGBTQ+ youth, and showing up to help prevent that. In the Family Acceptance Project study, standing up for youth when they were being mistreated due to their LGBTQ+ identity was associated with significantly lower odds of attempting suicide.
Becoming an ally means actively supporting and advocating for your child’s well-being in all aspects of their life, including the aspects of their identity. It does not mean you need to be an expert on all aspects of the LGBTQ+ community, nor that you need to take a strong visible stance on these issues in the world in order to support your child. But understand that by taking on this role, you send a powerful message to your child that you are committed to their well-being and happiness, as well as that of those other children and people in the greater LGBTQ+ community.
Here are some ways to become an ally:
- Get to know the issues facing your child
- Be brave when you can. Speak up when you hear negativity or discrimination against them or others.
- Do your best to openly embrace your child’s authentic self among family and friend groups
- Work with educators to ensure your child’s school is providing a safe, inclusive environment
Remember, the journey of becoming an ally is ongoing, and can present new challenges along the way. As long as you continue to learn, grow, and remain open to feedback as the world evolves, you’ll gain trust and respect from your child and from their friends in the greater LGBTQ+ community.
5. Use the right pronouns.
If your child is using new pronouns or a new chosen name, it may not feel natural at first to use these. However, doing so is proven to support their well-being. Trevor Project research shows that trans and nonbinary youth whose pronouns are respected by the people they live with were half as likely to attempt suicide as those whose pronouns were not respected.
It’s okay for parents to feel some sadness, confusion, or even resistance to these changes. But don’t let those emotions keep you from supporting and understanding your child’s decisions and helping them move forward safely on this journey. And if you make a mistake with pronouns (known as misgendering) or call them by their old name, use this as an opportunity to show up and let the child know they are trying. Just correct yourself, offer a quick apology, and let them know you will try to do better next time.
6. Support your child to access mental healthcare if they need it.
Due to the stigma they often face, LGBTQ+ youth are vulnerable to anxiety and depression, and have a higher likelihood of contemplating and attempting suicide than their straight, cisgender peers. According to a recent Trevor Project survey, 84 percent of LGBTQ+ teens and young adults wanted mental healthcare, but only half of those were able to access it.
If your child needs mental health support, look for a therapist or psychiatric provider, outpatient program, or more intensive treatment program that provides culturally competent LGBTQ+ mental health services. If you’re not sure where to start, contact us for information about finding a therapist or treatment program.
Newport Academy’s Gender-Responsive Care
With locations across the country, Newport Academy provides a safe, affirming space for teens, young adults, and their families to heal. We partner with the Trevor Project, the nation’s foremost LGBTQ+ advocacy and research organization, to provide specialized training for our clinical staff.
With residential and outpatient locations nationwide, Newport offers:
- Gender-responsive care according to gender identity, including programs specialized for LGBTQ+ youth
- Individual and group therapy using proven, evidence-based modalities
- Experiential therapies like art, music, and adventure therapy
- Family therapy to improve communication and trust so young people feel safe turning to parents for support
- Accredited academic curriculum, life skills training, and support for executive functioning
Contact us today to learn more. We’re here to answer your questions and provide you with next steps to support your child and your family.
Frequently Asked Questions
Sources:
Trevor Project Survey 2024
Family Acceptance Project
