As a parent, it can be frustrating and heartbreaking to see your once-vibrant, curious child transform into an emotionally detached teen that doesn’t care about anything. You may find yourself asking, “What happened to my child?” as you struggle to understand why they’ve become so distant and indifferent.
There could be a variety of factors influencing your teen’s behavior. Biological factors could be at play as teens experience hormonal changes. Additionally, teens often experience greater peer pressure, anxiety, and self-confidence issues during this stage of life. Lastly, there could be something deeper happening, such as an undiagnosed learning disability or mental health issue.
In this article, we’ll explore these behavioral influences and provide strategies to help you navigate this difficult phase in parenthood. Mental health treatment could be the key to getting your teen back to themself again.
Key Takeaways
- Teen emotions can be unpredictable due to a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors.
- A teen who doesn’t care could be struggling with an underlying mental health issue or undiagnosed learning disability.
- Early diagnosis and treatment can prevent adverse behaviors and other barriers to success.
- Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space for your teen to share their feelings.
Why Are Adolescent Emotions Unpredictable?
Part of the emotional rollercoaster you may be riding with your teen could be chalked up to typical patterns of adolescent growth. Teenagers’ emotions often seem unpredictable due to a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. Here’s a closer look at why this happens:
Brain Development
During adolescence, the child’s brain undergoes significant development. The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning, planning, and impulse control, matures later than other parts of the brain. Meanwhile, the limbic system, associated with emotions, develops earlier. This imbalance can lead to heightened emotions and sometimes impulsive behavior, as teens are still learning to regulate their feelings and responses.
Hormonal Changes
Adolescence is marked by significant hormonal changes that can affect mood and behavior. The increase in hormones like estrogen and testosterone can amplify emotions and make them seem more intense or unpredictable.
Social Influences
Teens are navigating complex social environments—establishing their identity, dealing with peer pressure, and striving for independence. These social pressures can cause emotional ups and downs as they try to find their place in the world.
Stress
Academic pressures, expectations from family, and changes in their social life can all contribute to stress. Teens might not yet have developed effective coping mechanisms, which can make their emotional responses seem inappropriate.
Disruption in Sleep Patterns
Changes in sleep patterns are common in adolescence and can significantly impact mood and emotional stability. A study of children and adolescent sleep patterns showed that changes occur in the “biological clock” during adolescence, causing teens to fall asleep later, wake up later, and experience increased mid-day drowsiness. Circadian rhythms during puberty can lead to later sleep times, while early school start times can result in sleep deprivation.
Experience and Perspective
Teens have limited life experience, which can affect how they perceive and react to challenges. Situations that adults might navigate with ease can seem overwhelming to a teen.
Helping Teens Build Self-Confidence During the Teenage Years
As adolescents grapple with physical, emotional, and social changes, they learn to build self-confidence and emotional intelligence. But there will be bumps along the way. Self-confidence can ebb and flow as they overcome each new challenge.
Many factors can influence a teenager’s self-esteem, including body image, academic performance, social acceptance, and relationships. Therefore, parents need to understand these influences and be a source of encouragement and comfort.
As a parent, you can help build your teen’s self-confidence. Encourage them to set attainable academic goals and provide them with the tools and resources they need. Additionally, recognize their efforts and celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small.
Finally, guide them in cultivating meaningful friendships and relationships by joining extracurricular activities that appeal to them, such as sports, academic clubs, or the arts.
Teens and Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is an unavoidable influence during adolescence. It can shape a teen’s behavior, choices, and self-perception. While some peer pressure can be beneficial, such as motivating your teen to excel in academics or engage in extracurricular activities, it can also lead to negative or risky behaviors, such as skipping school or substance experimentation.
Social media inundates teens with a constant barrage of images and messages that define what is “cool” or “normal.” It can foster a sense of inadequacy when they compare themselves to others, potentially harming their self-esteem and mental well-being. Acting as if they don’t care could be their way of masking their feelings of not feeling “good enough.”
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Signs Your Teen May Have Anxiety
While it’s normal for teens to feel stressed or worried from time to time, excessive or persistent anxiety can significantly impact their daily lives and well-being. An estimated 32 percent of adolescents have an anxiety disorder. One study found that teen anxiety increased 10 percent between 2012 and 2018, with the most significant increases among adolescent girls and LGBTQ+ teens.
Anxiety in adolescents can present differently than in adults. Teens may not be able to articulate their worries and may instead display behavioral changes, such as avoiding social activities or self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. They may be acting distant and uninterested because their anxiety is too overwhelming to deal with on their own.
Teen anxiety can look like:
- Excessive worry and stress about everyday life
- Feeling constantly on edge
- Fear that something terrible is going to happen
- Focusing on negative thoughts and outcomes
- Difficulty concentrating and focusing
- Having a hard time relaxing
- Muscle tension, stomachaches, headaches
- Nausea, sweating, and shaking (particularly associated with social anxiety and acute anxiety)
- Panic attacks
Signs Your Teen Could Be Depressed
Teen depression is a serious mental health condition that should not be ignored. New data shows that 1 in 5 adolescents report symptoms of anxiety or depression. Depression can interfere with relationships, academic performance, and can lead to self-isolation. Moreover, untreated, depression can threaten a young person’s safety. Teen depression is often linked to substance use, self-harm, eating disorders, and suicide.
Signs of depression in teens:
- Avoiding social situations
- Staying in their room longer than usual
- No longer interested in activities they used to enjoy
- Moodiness
- Declining academic performance
- Skipping school
- Constant crying
- Changes in appetite and weight
- Self-harm, such as cutting
- Decline in self-care habits
- Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs
If your teen is showing signs of depression, it is important to seek professional help before it gets worse. Take our teen depression assessment to identify red flags.
Could It Be a Learning Disability?
A teen that doesn’t care could be dealing with an undiagnosed learning disability.
According to the National Center for Learning Disabilities, 1 in 5 children in the US have learning or attention difficulties. Early diagnosis can prevent numerous barriers to success, including behavior issues, repeating a grade, and early dropout.
Common learning disabilities often linked with depression include dyslexia, dyscalculia, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Dyslexia, a language-based challenge, impacts reading, writing, and spelling. Dyscalculia, a math-based difficulty, hinders the understanding and use of numbers. ADHD, a neurodevelopmental condition, affects attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
If you suspect your teen may have a learning disability, a mental health evaluation can help ensure they receive the necessary support. Early identification and intervention for both learning disabilities and depression can significantly improve a teen’s outcome. With proper support, teens with learning disabilities can develop strategies to manage their symptoms and succeed academically and socially.
Tips for Parents Dealing with a Teen That Doesn’t Care
Parenting teenagers can be challenging, particularly when they have a negative attitude. It can cause frustration and anger for both of you, while also causing friction throughout the family. Here are some ways to help navigate this demanding time and strengthen your relationship with your teen:
Engage in Active Listening
Sometimes, a teen that doesn’t care is masking their desire for a deeper connection with you. They need their parents to listen to their viewpoint, free from interruption, judgment or conflict. Many teens will bottle up their emotions assuming parents will not understand what they are going through. So, if your teen is willing to talk, take this opportunity as a sign that they are struggling and need support. Doing so will build trust and open the lines of communication.
Furthermore, try to see the world through your teen’s eyes and not your own. By acknowledging their emotions, thoughts, and experiences, you can respond with greater empathy and understanding, therefore strengthening your relationship.
Don’t Lecture Them
Remember how annoying it was to get one of those “back in my day” lectures from your parents? Keep this in mind when your first instinct is to tell your teen how things “should be.” This approach is more likely to put a wedge between the two of you.
Instead, allow them to express their viewpoint and let them know you are willing to listen. Does this mean they should get away with poor behavior? Absolutely not. But when you keep the lines of communication open, you’re more likely to get to the bottom of why they are acting so out of character.
Set Clear Expectations and Consequences
Let your teen know what you expect from them by establishing rules and responsibilities and clear consequences for not adhering to them. Developing these together can make them feel part of the process and will help them understand exactly what is expected of them. Throwing out forms of punishment during an argument only adds fuel to the fire.
Hence, consequences should be well thought out and tie to a behavior change you’d like to see in your child. Sending a teen to their room or grounding them for a week doesn’t help them. Rather, if your teen breaks their curfew, let them know you will be tracking their whereabouts on an app until they earn back your trust. Or perhaps, if they miss curfew, they do not get to go out the following weekend.
Offer Praise and Reassurance
Positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool in motivating your teen. Recognize and praise their achievements, no matter how modest. This can bolster their self-esteem and give them the encouragement they need to succeed in their own way.
Seek Professional Help
If you find that you are struggling to connect with your teen, or if their behavior is causing significant problems, do not hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can help your teen address underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, or learning disabilities. With the right support, your teen can overcome their challenges and thrive.
In conclusion, every teen is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Practicing patience and understanding can help you get to the root of why they don’t seem to care. Building a strong relationship with your teen takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. With your support and help from a mental health professional if needed, your teen can begin to navigate the challenges of adolescence and grow into a happy, healthy, and successful adult.
Evidence-Based Treatment for Teen Depression
If you feel that your teen’s behavior goes beyond typical teenage angst, a mental health assessment will help determine if treatment could be the answer.
Our residential care for teens at Newport Academy helps teens ages 12–18 who are struggling with severe mental health or substance use issues. We treat adolescents for depression, anxiety, PTSD, substance use disorders, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, LGBTQ+ issues, and behavioral problems.
Each teen’s individualized treatment plan incorporates evidence-based clinical and experiential modalities, plus robust academic support, to create long-term, sustainable healing.
Get Started Today
Making the decision to seek treatment for your child can be difficult. But you don’t have to do it alone. Our caring staff is available to help you every step of the way. Mental health treatment at Newport provides a safe and nonjudgmental space for your teen to talk about their thoughts and feelings, which can sometimes be too difficult for them to do at home. Contact us today to get started.
Frequently Asked Questions
Sources
National Institute of Mental Health
Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. 2022 Jan;57(1):127-137.
National Academies Press (US); 2000.
