How to Talk to Boys About Teen Mental Health

Getting information out of a teen boy can be difficult, if not impossible. The stereotypes of teen boy communication at this age—monosyllabic answers to every question, a complete lack of eye contact, and the inevitable eye roll when you ask them about their life—are often true. And then there’s the struggle to get them away from their phone, video games, or other devices long enough to have a heart-to-heart.

But it’s worth taking the time and making the effort, because research shows that mental health in teen boys is suffering. While boys are less likely to report anxiety or depression symptoms, their risk of suicide is high. A recent CDC report found that 29 percent of boys report feeling sad or hopeless almost every day. And 14 percent of teen boys had seriously considered suicide in the past year.

But parents can help. Research shows that parent-child communication can make a powerful positive difference in adolescent well-being.

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Key Takeaways

• While teen boys are less likely than girls to talk about their feelings of sadness or anxiety, data shows they are experiencing high rates of mental health challenges.
• Parents can help teen boys understand the importance of being vulnerable, and educate them about why mental health matters.
• When talking to boys about mental health, It’s important to balance attention and interest with respecting their privacy.
• If your teen son is struggling, Newport Academy offers mental health assessments at no charge and can recommend an appropriate mental health services.

5 Tips for Talking to Teen Boys About Mental Health

Here are five ways for parents and other caregivers and mentors to push through the barriers and learn how to talk to boys about their mental health.

#1: Do More Listening Than Talking

Most boys are not as verbally prolific as their female counterparts. Many male teens are conditioned not to show as much emotion or even give as many cues through body language or facial expressions. This requires parents and care providers to be that much more attentive to the cues teen boys do give, and the few words that they do say. As parents and caregivers, you need to talk less and listen more.

The most productive feedback about a teen boy’s mental health comes from watching and listening. Look for changes in sleep, mood, level of irritability, and eating habits. Pushing for verbal communication isn’t always necessary or helpful. When a boy is emotionally volatile, he can perceive questions as prying or judgmental, and may become defensive and even less likely to open up. Active listening will help earn his trust, and, over time, he will be more likely to open up.

#2: Make It Okay to Be Vulnerable

When parents and other adults are vulnerable and talk about their feelings openly, while respecting appropriate boundaries, teens are more likely to respond in kind. In particular, if another male figure—whether a father, older brother, or mentor—is willing to communicate about emotions and struggles associated with male mental health, teen boys will feel encouraged and safe to express their emotions.

Establishing honest communication requires acceptance, compassion, and a nonjudgmental attitude. One of the most common errors adults make is communicating to boys that their emotions are unacceptable or shameful. Dismissive messages such as “Grow up,” “Be a man,” or “Deal with it” send a message that being vulnerable is wrong or that it is not okay to feel what they’re feeling. These types of messages, whether explicit or implicit, keep boys from sharing what they’re feeling or letting parents know they need help. That may be one of the reasons why a 2020 study of private mental healthcare claims for teens found that females accounted for more than two-thirds of mental health claims.

In summary, listen to and observe teen boys, and then create opportunities to learn more about male mental health together. Patience, acceptance, and unconditional love will build the foundation on which a teen boy feels safe to share his inner self.

Mental Health Services for Teen Boys at Newport Academy

At Newport Academy, we understand the struggles that teen boys face in our society. We support boys and their families to build trust and open communication. The foundation of our treatment is Attachment-Based Family Therapy, which is designed to help teens feel safe turning to their parents for support when they’re struggling.

In addition, each teens’ tailored treatment plan includes individual therapy, group therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and EMDR. Active approaches that don’t involve talking about feelings can often be more effective for teen boys, so we also offer a wide range of experiential modalities, including Mixed Martial Arts, Adventure Therapy, music therapy, and more (depending on location).

Teen boys in our residential and outpatient treatment programs emerge with greater self-awareness and self-esteem, improved family relationships, and healthy coping skills. Moreover, our programs are separated by gender identity, so boys can form strong connections with peers and treatment providers, within an open and caring environment.

Contact us today to schedule a free teen mental health assessment and learn more about our family-focused clinical model.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources

JCC Advances. 2023 Nov; e2205: 10.1002.