Angry outbursts are not uncommon among teens as they go through physical, emotional, mental, and social changes on their way to young adulthood. But as a parent, it can be incredibly frustrating dealing with a teenage girl who has anger issues.
In some cases, extreme anger can be a sign of trauma or mental health issues; it can also negatively impact their mental health and relationships in adulthood. It’s important to understand anger in teen girls and recognize when assistance from treatment professionals might be needed. In this article, you’ll learn some of the causes of teen girl anger and get strategies for helping them regulate their emotions more effectively.
What You’ll Learn
- What causes anger in teen girls?
- Why is anger more socially acceptable for teen boys than teen girls?
- How does anger affect teenage girls’ mental health?
- When is anger a sign of something more serious, such as a mental health issue?
- What are some strategies for dealing with an angry teen girl?
Quick Read
Anger is a common experience for teenagers as they navigate the complexities of growing up, but it can be particularly challenging for teen girls. While society often associates anger with boys, girls can also experience intense emotions, which may lead to outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation. Understanding the roots of their anger is crucial, as it can stem from feelings of powerlessness, trauma, or mental health issues. Recognizing these emotions as signals rather than something to be hidden can help girls learn to express themselves more healthily.
Teen girls often face unique pressures, including social comparison and self-doubt, compounded by hormonal changes. Mood swings and angry outbursts can arise from overwhelming situations, and girls may struggle to articulate their feelings. Unfortunately, societal norms often discourage girls from expressing anger, leading them to internalize their emotions, which can result in sporadic rage and further criticism. This cycle can negatively impact their mental health and relationships, making it essential to address anger constructively.
The causes of anger in teen girls can include low parental support, poor body image, loneliness, and various mental health conditions. It’s vital for parents to engage in open conversations with their daughters about their feelings, as this can help uncover the underlying issues contributing to their anger. When anger is left unresolved, it can lead to serious consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and risky behaviors. Encouraging healthy outlets, like sports or creative activities, can provide girls with constructive ways to manage their emotions.
In some cases, anger may signal deeper mental health issues that require professional help. Signs to watch for include uncontrollable rage, extreme mood swings, and withdrawal from social connections. Parents should remain engaged, listen actively, and set boundaries around screen time to help their daughters navigate these challenges. If necessary, seeking the guidance of a treatment professional can provide valuable support and strategies for addressing anger in a healthy way. At Newport Academy, we specialize in helping teen girls overcome anger issues and develop the skills they need to thrive.
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Understanding Anger and Teenage Girls
Teenage girls are trying to discover who they are, and that entails frequent self-assessment and social comparison. At the same time, they’re going through hormonal and physiological changes that can make them feel vulnerable and deeply insecure. They aren’t sure what they want or how to act, and it doesn’t help that the part of the brain that regulates emotion and rational decision-making is still developing in teens.
Mood swings are a natural part of a teen girl’s life, in addition to angry outbursts. For many adolescents, life can be overwhelming and confusing, and even the smallest interactions with friends and family can seem like a personal attack. Teen girls may not know how to label what they’re feeling, much less how to communicate it in a healthy, articulate way.
Why Is Anger More Accepted in Boys Than in Girls?
Anger is generally more socially acceptable in teen boys than in teen girls. Teen girls may criticized more for expressing their anger, as girls are still expected to be polite and demure. Meanwhile, anger in teen boys is considered more typical, and boys are expected to be more “powerful” and outspoken.
As a result, teen girls may try to suppress their anger to be socially acceptable. However, suppressed anger can easily turn into rage that comes out sporadically and is difficult to control—creating a negative cycle.
Causes of Anger in Teen Girls
Anger typically arises from a sense of powerlessness. It can also be fueled by intense fear or grief. When teenage girls understand where their anger is coming from, they can recognize their emotion as an important signal, instead of something shameful that needs to be hidden or ignored.
Anger in teen girls can come from various sources. The European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology, and Education looked at a few different factors that influenced aggression in teen girls, including:
- Low parental support
- Poor body image
- High sense of loneliness
- Lower perceived social acceptance
Individual history, life experiences, and relationships all play a role in teen girl aggressiveness. Furthermore, a teen girl’s anger can be a symptom of a mental health condition, like trauma/PTSD, depression, anxiety, or other disorders. Additionally, difficult life circumstances and uncertainty can create stress that turns into anger, especially among teenage girls who are very sensitive or feel responsible for the emotions of others.
The best way to find out why your teenage daughter is angry is to simply ask her. Even if she doesn’t respond at first, continue to demonstrate that you’re listening and that you care about what’s bothering her. You may have offended her without knowing it, or her anger may have nothing to do with you, but she doesn’t know how to talk about it.
How Unresolved Anger Affects Mental Health
Anger is a sign that something in our life needs to be addressed. And when anger is repressed or allowed to fester, it grows in intensity. Anger can affect a person’s mental and physical health over time, and bouts of rage can be a danger to that person and those around them.
Unresolved anger in teen girls can eventually lead to the following:
- Debilitating depression or anxiety
- Self-harm
- Chronic pain
- Physical aggression
- Verbal abuse
- Mistreatment of people, animals, or property
- An increase in risk-taking behaviors
- Substance use
When Anger Is a Sign of a Mental Health Issue
Sometimes anger is a sign of something more serious than pent-up emotion. It can indicate the presence of trauma, a chemical imbalance, or even a medical issue that needs to be addressed. If you notice any of the following symptoms in your teen daughter, you may want to seek the help of a treatment professional:
- Uncontrollable rage that results in damage to other people or property
- Increased volatility and frequent extreme mood swings
- Threats of suicide or harm to others
- Increased isolation and detachment from social connections
- Lying, stealing, or manipulative behavior
- Inability to retain friends, work, or relationships
- Difficulty carrying out daily responsibilities or maintaining personal hygiene
- Frequent episodes of verbal abuse or violence
- Extreme fear and/or panic attacks
- Avoidance of certain people and places
- Frequent crying
- Significant changes in sleeping and eating patterns
- Increased suspicion of others or believing that people are conspiring against her
- Repetitive behavior patterns like tapping, handwashing, flipping light switches, etc.
- Restlessness or extreme fatigue
- Obsessive worry
- Incessant self-deprecation
- Intense preoccupation with physical appearance and social media image
How to Deal with an Angry Teen Girl
It can be incredibly frustrating as a parent to deal with an angry teen girl. You may not know what to say—or what not to say. But it’s important to try, because unresolved anger issues can ultimately impact a teen girl’s trajectory in life.
Teenage girls need to know that while you can’t support unhealthy expressions of their anger—mistreatment of others, lashing out, self-harm, substance use, etc.—you do support their right to be angry and want to help them resolve it.
So how can you deal with your teenage daughter’s anger and support them to figure out what’s going on? Here are some strategies that can help teen girls cope and learn healthy emotional expression:
Continue to engage.
It may be difficult to be patient with an unruly teen, but she is always watching how you behave. Your willingness to stay involved speaks volumes. Help her understand that your disappointment in their behavior is not disapproval of who she is.
Be present and listen.
Quality time with your teen, even if she doesn’t speak to you very much, says that you are willing to listen. Stay present and don’t use your devices, even when it’s awkward or silent. When she does confide in you, practice active listening. Additionally, choosing to be with your teen can make her feel more supported and give her a stronger sense of belonging.
Help her find creative outlets.
Activities focused on your daughter’s interests, like an art class or musical group, can provide opportunities for expressing emotion and finding social connection. Some teen girls who are angry because they feel excluded at school may benefit from participating in extracurricular activities that introduce them to new people and allow them to flourish as a person.
Get her involved in sports or recreational activities.
Sports offer a place to channel energy and find a sense of community with other girls. Recreational activities and exercise can offer release and a sense of perspective. Physical exercise is proven to boost well-being and help teens manage their emotions.
Establish boundaries around screen time.
It’s no secret that social media can increase teen insecurity, and Yale Medicine reports that adolescents and young adults using social media for more than three hours a day experience twice the risk of negative mental health outcomes. Additionally, the Internet can expose teens to subject matter that’s inappropriate for their stage of development, affecting their mental and emotional health. Most of this exposure tends to occur during nighttime or unsupervised hours; consider a “check out” time screens and devices, taking them after a certain point in the evening, to help prevent these issues.
Get a treatment professional involved.
When you run out of solutions and you’re simply not aligning with your teen, consult a treatment professional. They can provide new perspectives and solutions that can help your daughter understand and navigate what she’s feeling. She might want to talk to a counselor alone, or you can offer to go with her and talk together. If your teen is resistant to treatment, learn helpful tips for having the conversation, in the article, What to Do When Your Teen Refuses Treatment.
Find more tips in this article: Dealing with a Difficult Teenage Daughter: A Parents’ Guide
Professional Help for Angry Teen Girls
At Newport Academy, we understand what teen girls are going through and what they need. We have expertise in treating anger issues, mental health issues, and substance use. Our compassionate, whole-person approach offers your teen the opportunity to discover their authentic self and become more equipped to step into young adulthood with confidence. And, through family therapy, you can learn how to talk things through without anger and frustration.
If your teen girl is struggling with severe anger issues and other concerns, please contact us today. We’ll help you and your daughter uncover the causes of her anger and take the next steps to help her gain self-awareness, emotional regulation, and a sense of self-worth and belonging.
Frequently Asked Questions
Anger often comes from feeling powerless, and it can also be intensified by strong emotions like fear or grief. Teen girls tend to face more criticism for showing their anger, while boys are often just brushed off with the phrase “boys will be boys.” This can make girls feel socially rejected, leading them to suppress their anger more often. However, when they hold it in, it can build up and result in outbursts that are hard to control. These moments can seem confusing to others and may invite even more criticism, creating a frustrating cycle.
Mood swings are just a normal part of being a teen girl, along with those angry outbursts. Life can feel pretty overwhelming and confusing, and even little things with friends or family can come off as really personal and annoying. Sometimes, teen girls might struggle to figure out exactly what they’re feeling, let alone how to express those feelings in a healthy and clear way.
Anger can be a symptom of ADHD. Teens with ADHD may have difficulty controlling their emotions and calming themselves down.
Continue to engage with your teenage daughter and demonstrate that you are willing to listen to what’s troubling her. If you feel like the issues have become extreme and you’ve run out of strategies, it never hurts to get a treatment professional involved.
Sources:
Eur J Investig Health Psychol Educ. 2021 Oct; 11(4):1350–1361.
Yale Medicine, June 2024
