Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to sense, express, understand, identify, and cope with emotions. It may also refer to one’s interpersonal skills, stress-management skills, and mood regulation. Teen emotional intelligence supports adolescents to navigate every area of life, including family connections, friendships, school, and identity building.
Like any other form of intelligence, emotional intelligence may be expressed more naturally in some people than others. However, just like math or reading skills, EI can be strengthened throughout one’s life. Learning how to cultivate emotional intelligence can help adolescents improve stress management and have stronger relationships.
Key Takeaways
- Emotional intelligence (EI) is defined as the ability to understand, sense, express, identify, and cope with your own emotions and other people’s emotions.
- Teen emotional intelligence provides adolescents with the foundational skills they need to foster good mental health and supportive relationships with themselves and others.
- EI reduces stress and levels of burnout and increases resilience, connection, the ability to problem-solve, and overall life satisfaction and well-being.
- Parents can help teens develop emotional intelligence by teaching them how to identify, express, and cope with their feelings.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Teens?
Emotional intelligence is important for teens because it serves as the foundation for an adolescent’s emotional development and maturity. It sets the stage for their ability to build resilience, persevere through mental health struggles, cope with difficult thoughts and feelings, and foster healthy relationships with themselves and others.
A strong level of emotional intelligence for teens has been shown to benefit them in the following ways:
- Reduced psychological stress
- Lower levels of burnout or truancy in school settings and later in work environments
- Increased resilience
- Improved quality of relationships
- Better problem-solving skills and ability to set and reach personal goals, which supports academic achievement
- Higher overall levels of mental health, life satisfaction, and well-being
The Connection Between Mental Health and Emotional Intelligence in Adolescence
Adolescence is all about developing a sense of self, connecting with others and the world, and learning skills to navigate life’s challenges.
The ability to cope with and navigate both positive and negative emotions effectively—both one’s own and other people’s emotions—requires having high emotional intelligence.
Building emotional intelligence skills early on helps teens adjust to adversity, respond in healthy ways to life’s stressors, and overcome difficult situations and events.
Furthermore, high emotional intelligence supports teens to manage emotions, foster self-confidence and self-compassion, increase emotional self-awareness, and build strong relationships with others.
On the other hand, having low emotional intelligence in adolescence is associated with a higher risk of experiencing teen anxiety or depression.
“Children and adolescents who are emotionally intelligent are more positive about themselves, have healthier relationships with family and friends, are able to cope with changes and challenges, and generally feel happier and optimistic.”
—Mabel Gonzalez, author of Emotional Intelligence and Adolescent Mental Health
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How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in Adolescence
Unfortunately, teen emotional intelligence skills aren’t usually taught in school. However, parents and families can play a big role in improving a teen’s EI. Research shows that parents’ levels of emotional intelligence have a significant impact on their adolescents’ EI.
Teaching emotional intelligence doesn’t have to be intimidating. Here are three ways to help your teen build emotional intelligence.
Talk Openly About Emotions
Being able to perceive and identify one’s own emotions is an important factor of EI. But developing self-awareness of your own emotions is more difficult than it sounds, especially if you aren’t used to tapping into how you feel. If your family doesn’t already talk about feelings, that’s okay—you can start practicing now.
Understanding your emotions starts with being able to name them. Practice labeling your own emotions, and encourage your teen to do the same. For example, at dinner, you can share four or five feelings you had throughout the day, and ask everyone in your family to do the same. Thinking about other people’s emotions helps build a sense of compassion for them and an understanding of how they’re feeling—what’s called empathy.
Be honest and open about your own positive and negative feelings, and be as specific and precise as possible. For instance, rather than saying, “I felt good today” or “I feel bad,” you might say, “I felt sad today when I saw …” or “I was angry at myself today because …” Additionally, encourage your teen to explore the physical sensations that accompany their various emotions. If your teen is struggling with recognizing emotions, looking at a feeling wheel can help kickstart the process.
Help Them Cope with Emotions
Emotions can be tough to deal with at any age. When teens experience intense emotions, they can feel scary and overwhelming. Help your kid cope with the emotions they’re dealing with by listening to them, teaching them that it’s okay to have hard feelings, and giving them practical tools to cope with emotions.
Show active interest in your teen and listen to them when they express their emotions to you. Watch for nonverbal cues to their emotions as well. Being a good listener—and avoiding judgment, criticism, and a “fix-it” attitude—helps your teen learn that all their emotions are safe to feel and express with you.
When your teen is in an emotional state, struggling with difficult emotions, help them learn to balance their emotions by teaching them practical regulation skills. These include mindfulness skills like slowing down the breath or doing a relaxing visualization. Or they can try releasing energy through exercising, dancing, shouting (aloud if possible, or into a pillow), or shaking their body. Movement can help release the pent-up tension of intense emotions. Once they’ve fully experienced the emotion, it’s easier for teens to choose an appropriate response, rather than simply reacting impulsively.
Encourage Healthy Emotional Expression
Emotional intelligence requires expressing your emotions in a healthy, constructive way. Experiencing difficult emotions like anger, sadness, or disappointment is a normal part of life. However, someone with a high EI knows how, when, and where to express those emotions in a way that’s intentional and respectful.
Teen brains are still developing, and skills like emotional regulation are some of the last to come onboard. That means expressing and managing emotions will be more of a challenge, and teens are more likely to struggle with things like explosive anger issues.
Help your teen with managing emotions by teaching them mindfulness practices like slowing down their breathing and tuning into bodily sensations. When teens learn how to ride the wave of an emotion, they’re more likely to learn that it’s okay to let emotions “breathe” a bit before acting on them. This prevents rash, impulsive outbursts that they may ultimately regret.
How Our Teen Treatment Helps Build Emotional Intelligence
At Newport Academy, our mental health treatment includes support to help build emotional intelligence in adolescence. Our programs for teens guide young people to learn key emotion regulation skills, including how to name, understand, and cope with feelings. Clinical therapy, journaling, art and music therapy, and outdoor Adventure Therapy activities help to strengthen teens’ EI. Developing these skills is one aspect of our approach to treating primary teen mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Newport Academy’s whole-person, comprehensive approach addresses each teen’s physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual needs and provides tools to help them flourish. Guided by expert clinicians, using modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, experiential therapy, and family therapy, our clients uncover and heal past trauma, practice healthy strategies to navigate their challenges, and learn how to communicate effectively with peers, family, and friends.
Start the healing journey today: Contact us for a free teen mental health assessment.
Frequently Asked Questions
Sources
International Journal Res Innovation Social Sci. 2021 May: 5(5): 2454–6186.
Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2020 Sep; 17(17): 6255.
